I am now, like, one of the last...but I've joined twitter! :)

I'm spookykat there as well.

Feel free to follow me. It is more real-life oriented...but ya know.

Oh, and I stayed up until 4:30AM because I was enthralled with the airing of 'Chess in Concert' with Josh Groban, Adam Pascal and Idina Menzel. Our school is putting a production of this on next semester, and I am sooo excited about that!! I have the whole cast picked in my head. Now if they know what's good for them at JU, they'll listen to me.

Tomorrow is the big day! Tomorrow history gets made, and I get to be a part of it. Despite the fact that I know it's not my own personal vote that gets to decide the president, at least I'll be able to have my say. By this time tomorrow, hopefully, we'll have a pretty good idea of who our next president will be. Obama's apparently way ahead in the polls, but I don't think that polls tell the whole story, so it's still anyone's race. No matter what your stand on the issues are, no matter who you think is right or who you want to win, that's pretty damn cool. So yeah, go vote!!

And...a memo...

Mr. Future President, whomever you may be, I do not want to be you tomorrow. The world will look to you to fix all of its problems, and you won't be able to, because the previous administration has left us in the worst state we've been in since the Great Depression. But FDR, who got us out of that horrible time in history, went down as one of the greatest, so who knows...maybe you'll be great too. Do I think you'll keep all of your promises, or be able to fix all that is wrong with this country? Of course not. But whoever you are, you're a decent human being who believes that they're doing the right thing, and that has to count for something. Even though I may not agree with everything you say, you're not George W. Bush, which is already a huge improvement. More than that, though, you're going to have to be the light at the end of the tunnel.

~SK

Why the hell does everything have to be so damn hard??

I shouldn't have to fight tooth-and-nail for EVERYTHING. I shouldn't have to scratch and claw my way through the day. I'm just so damn tired of having to try so hard and having nothing to show for it.

Everything's fine. I'm just trying really hard to remember why I even bother.

For everyone who DOESN'T want Palin anywhere near The White House, I bring you this...

Oh, come on...those of you who have known me for awhile...how can I NOT answer this one??

Hoooly crap, do I feel old today!!

For those of you who are relatively new to my flist, I remember watching an episode of The X-Files in reruns, and getting absolutely hooked. I found out later that it was Monday and soon became obsessed with watching the reruns and marathons when they used to have them on FX.

I was obsessed with Quantum Leap before I was obsessed with The X-Files, but TXF was my first fandom. I'm not a part of fandom anymore, but I remember how much fun it was. How great those characters were and how rich their development was to draw from. Not just Mulder and Scully, but the minor ones as well.

Favorite episode? Oh jeez...I don't think I can name just one. The aforementioned Monday, Dreamland I and 2, How the Ghosts Stole Christmas (Lily Tomlin is sooo great in that one, as is Ed Asner), Bad Blood, Unnatural, and what's that one that GA directed? I can't remember the title of it at the moment.

And do I experience paranormal activity? Well, I've had encounters with ghosts quite a bit, but beyond that, nothing more paranormal than that.

Oh. My. God.

I made myself the BEST dinner tonight and am ridiculously stuffed.

Mock Pad Thai Noodles with chicken. This is slightly involved, but WOW is it worth the work if I do say so myself.

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Remember the old Interview with the Vampire movie? Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Antonio Banderras?

I want an icon of Bad-ass!Tom-Cruise-as-Lestat with a caption that reads "I don't fucking sparkle"

*gives fandom puppy-dog eyes*

Pwetty pweeeeese????

I will credit!

ETA: *pets icon* Thank you, simons_flower!!!! I <3 Fandom!!

I am home from family vacation THANK GOD!

I can't tell you how good it feels to be away from their insanity. My dad kept finding things to yell at me for the ENTIRE time and decided to have fits every time he cooked dinner, which was every night, ever time our crew didn't do exactly what he wanted us to do. It got old pretty fast. He's been finding tiny things to attack me about every day for the last couple of weeks, and I don't know why. It's hard to live with and it's always been a LITTLE bit like this, but it's never been this bad. After he blows up at me for little stuff, I revert back to the way I was in high school and although I haven't quite gotten to the brutally self-destructive behavior the way I used to, it's quickly headed in that direction. What little self-esteem I had has completel dissappated as a result.

I hate giving him this much power. I hate that I need something that can't ever exist to be okay with myself, but I do. I feel like I have nothing to talk about with my dad and I don't know that he's capable of any kind of real relationship because I can count the number of substantial conversations I've had with him on one hand. But I think it's necessary now to see a relationship counselor, someone who can help us learn to communicate better, because I personally refuse to live this way.

I just hate that he somehow thinks it's all right to treat me that way. I hate that my mom always makes excuses for him. I hate that I've allowed myself to be treated like that for as long as I have.

And I wonder why I never had a romantic relationship.

But, on the bright side, I got to see Wall-E

Tomorrow am driving to Chattanooga to stay with my aunt and uncle who live there, and then on Friday will be at the wedding. If there's something I've missed, let me know.

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Meme, gakked from margaret67

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Use the first letter of your name to answer each of the following questions. They have to be real places, names &/or objects, but nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person you got this from has the same first initial. You can't use your name for the boy/girl name question. Have fun with it!


This would be soooo much easier if I was Katherine with a C, instead of with a K...


1. FOUR LETTER WORD: Kind
2. BOY NAME: Kyle
3. GIRL NAME: Kimberly
4. OCCUPATION: Kindergarten Teacher
5. A COLOR: Khaki
6. SOMETHING YOU WEAR: Knickers
7. BEVERAGE: Killian's Irish Red
8. FOOD: Kabobs
9. SOMETHING FOUND IN A BATHROOM: kleenex
10. A PLACE: Kentucky
11. REASON FOR BEING LATE: Kids
12. SOMETHING YOU SHOUT: KILL HIM!

Ok, sense a bunch of people are sharing the musiclove, I thought I'd do the same. Being a piano performance major, you'd think I'd be all over classical music. I'm not, actually. I know a lot of it. I play a lot of it. But most of it, to be honest, bores me to tears at best and at it's worst, gives me a headache and makes my fingers sore for no good reason. If I have to listen to Moonlight Sonata or Fur Elise or Claire de Lune one more time I'm going to blow.

But having said that, there *are* exceptions. Within the muck, there are certain peices that transcend reality and give me a glimpse of what is true and real and eternal. In short, this is the sort of music that reminds me why I play the piano.

So, here are some of my favorite classical selections. All piano, of course. The ones with an asterisk are what I've played in the past. The ones with double-asterisks are in my junior recital.

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This is what happens when I am bored and can't sleep.

I finally discovered how to vid!!!!

This is me playing. I know that the pedal squeaks pretty badly and the pictures didn't compress very well, but...

clicky!

I'd really like to upload a link of me playing Beethoven. I have a recording of it using garageband and have saved it to mp4 file, but I'm not quite sure how to go about doing that. Any good sites for that?

So I haven't been involved in fandom in quite awhile. Thanks to so many people on my flist who still are, I've at least remained aware of the kerfluffles that errupt from time to time. starrysummer linked me to another abyssinia4077's post, and it was too many characters for a comment, so I'm making the post. And what the hell, I haven't had a fandom-related post in awhile. So, without further ado...

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For those who celebrate, HAPPY EASTER!!!

For those who don't, happy discounted candy day tomorrow!

Unfortunately, mine, so far, is kinda crappy.

I am soon going to be standing in the unemployment line again.

I got my ass out of bed at 5:30 this morning. Got to work at 6:15. And got through the Easter sunrise service just fine despite the fact that the priest DIDN'T GIVE ME THE RIGHT HYMNS for easter vigil and while the last three were what I was told were going to be there, the first two were not. I was totally sight-reading. Luckily, I'm a pretty decent sight-reader, so it went well. Things were all hunky-dory until the priest dropped the bombshell that the diocese can no longer support the church. We will only have one more service after this week. I was told along with the rest of the congregation. It was pretty much a slap in the face. I'm really not wanting to go back for the 10am service quite frankly.

Granted, it was a job that I wasn't happy in and I wanted to get out of it anyway, but still...I wanted to at least leave with another job lined up. I deserve a little more respect than that. And quite honestly, I'm shocked that she chose to tell her congregation Easter morning of all mornings. Dammit. I don't need something else to deal with right now. It looks like it's going to be back to retail for me. I don't want to do that, but I need to make steady income, and until I can land a teaching job or a permanent church gig, it's not going to happen in music. Damn. Damn damn damn damn damn.

YAY!!! GO DAWGS!!!! The dawgs have only won 2 out of the last 17 Gatorbowls and this one was quite a game, going neck and neck right up to the end. And we actually WON this year!!

Today was the last day at the Presbyterian church. I talked to my boss, Linda, about a raise at the Episcopal church. She said that as soon as there was money for it, I'd get a raise...and then she goes and hires a lady for daycare...for all TWO of the children we have. :/ That was a bit of a slap in the face. $300.00 per month wasn't much, but it was nice, steady, reliable income. And the people were MUCH easier to deal with. So who knows. *shrug* Now I'm down to $100 per month as an income. $25/week won't even cover much in the way of groceries or lunch money. And I'm at school twelve hours a day three days a week and seven for the other two, and if I don't have Saturdays to vege out in my PJ's, I go insane...so I really don't know what I'm going to do. I could see if I could apply for a campus job, but that will most likely be not even 15 hours a week, and I couldn't even apply for one until next year. And without THAT job, I'd be going from $100/month to zero. I need to find a gig at a hotel or something.

School is getting a little crazy. I have an exam in Russia a week from Thursday. I have a group project for Theory on Wednesday (which really makes life difficult. I'm the only one who seems to care), and an interview project for my music profession class...but I haven't received the responses yet, and I needed it today. Hopefully I'll get it before the day's out. Right now, I'm gearing towards my Junior Recital sometime late next semester. We only have a month left before the semester's over, which COMPLETELY boggles the mind. It seems like the semester just started!

~SK

The first service at the new church I started at was on Wednesday, and went very well! The priest was v. happy with my performance, and I think this can only be good things. The pay is absolute crap, but at least it's steady income, and will hopefully lead to things like new students, weddings and funerals on a regular basis. Yay!

Orientation for JU is Wednesday, as is my mom's 50th b-day. Have started working on my recital workshop peice for December already. It's Brahams, which I don't think I've ever really played before. It's "Ballade in C Minor, opus 118 No. 3" and it sounds like the beginning of a sweeping epic musical or something. <3!!

It is freakin' hot outside. Lately it's been in the 100's. Which is not good considering the AC decided to collapse. The AC unit has been making odd noises. The repair guys have been called. Hopefully they will come before too terribly long.

Damn. I'm 190.5. That's six pounds away from what I was when I lived in Knoxville, TN, four years ago and that's the highest I've ever weighed in my life. Six weeks ago, I was 180. That's not good. The thing is...I try SO DAMN HARD to get my weight under control, and it's not like I eat like a pig, either. There are days when I only eat one meal. Although if I were honest with myself, I think there are some things that definitely need changing about my lifestyIe. I drink a 20 oz. bottle of regular coke a couple of times a week...once a day if I'm in class. I don't excersize and I eat fast food about twice a week and a gallon of icecream about once a week...and that's probably why right there. And the thing that alarms me is that 190.5 isn't far from 200...and...I really don't want to weigh...*does the math* 10 Nicole Ritchies.

The thing is...my life is pretty good right now. My career's finally moving forward. I'm headed on a path I feel REALLY good about. If my weight is out of control, though, then something HAS to be wrong, because eating is a huge coping mechanism for me. The thing is...I know what I need to do. It's just...I don't wanna. I like veggies and fruit. I also like junkfood. A lot. Fastfood is my downfall, though. And I've been eating a LOT of TV-Dinners lately (smart ones and lean cuisines, but still, those are super-high in sodium), and not drinking any water.

And when I'm busy, running back and forth, that's when it gets REALLY bad. I eat out of vending machines and drive-through windows. And I canNOT study without junkfood and copious amounts of sugary caffiene.

It's just...I feel like I've GOT to turn over a new leaf and learn to be healthy no matter what's going on in my life at the time. But how many times have I said that on this journal? I may do it for a little while...but then, like any other addiction, pretty soon one fast-food trip becomes five by the end of the week and then a gallon of icecream. And it's not a matter of wanting to loose it or needing to loose it...because I do. And it's certainly not a matter of not knowing how, because I've done it before.

But lately when I HAVE tried, the weight hasn't gone anywhere. It just feels like any attempt is futile, and I shouldn't try to fight it as long as I'm healthy, which, for me...is being able to move, breathe, eat and go to the bathroom without a problem. I can do all those things now without issue, but I'd like to keep it that way. And getting over 200 for my height is absolutely NOT an option. And since JU is so damn expensive, I absolutely canNOT afford to get sick again.

Speaking of, I got bloodwork done today, which was ABSOLUTELY no fun. My veins like to roll, and third time was the charm. My thyroid and blood-sugar is getting tested, and I'll have the results on Monday. I wonder if my thyroids are the issue. It would be nice to blame it on them, but I kind of doubt it. It's probably more due to my inability to resist the icecream section at the grocery store.

Oh, and yesterday? I decided that JU's financial aid can go die a horrible painful death. I got a letter in the mail several months ago saying I got a commuter grant. I also earned a talent scholarship. Nowhere in the commuter grant letter did it say that earning one was contingent upon earning another. And it didn't show up on my bill. I went down to see if it could be changed. Well...the lady said that because I got the talent scholarship, I couldn't get the commuter grant. The commuter grant letter never said that...I pointed this out, but that made no difference whatsover, so I felt really, really cheated...and I just said very calmly that "it seemed a little bit dishonest that this was the policy, because that was never clarified in the letter at all. If you expect students to not feel ripped-off like I do now, then that fact needs to be made known. All it would take was one sentence in the letter to prevent that from happening. I suggest you add it in the future."

I went and got my books and school supply shopping to cheer me up after that disaster. I'd rather shop for school supplies than clothes, so that cheered me up. They didn't have one of my text books, so I'm going to order it online. Does anyone have any experience with this? Who's good? Who's not?

I've been staying quiet for the most part regarding the latest debacle that most of my f-list seems to be a part of recently. This is mostly because my involvement in fandom for the last several years now has been reduced to lurkdom. It's honestly been several years since I've read fic and at least a couple since I've written any. However, since Deathly Hallows release, my enthusiasm has been renewed for the series I find myself swept up once again into fandom. I have written NC-17 fics that are public entries, which worry me a little. But these are fics that feature adult characters, so I'm not overly concerned. And honestly, what's coming will come. If they want to delete me...I say, bring it.

The thing is, when I first began hearing about this whole mess, I will admit it. I didn't say anything about it because my opinion was unpopular. No, I don't think there is any harm in depicting fictional characters in fictional situations. However, art depicting an ACTOR playing a fictional character is no longer just depictions of a fictional character. And in that circumstance, I can understand why they'd be worried about big corporations and not to mention Dan Radcliffe himself sueing the pants off of Six Apart. That, I think, is where the line should be drawn. It becomes defammation, and is definitely illegal, and i can certainly see why LJ and Six Apart would want to cover their own asses.

I think the other part of this issue is that when we're six months away from the Presidential Primaries, they need SOMETHING Republicans can be proud of...because we know nobody wants ot be associated with Bush anymore. But that's neither here nor there. The Republicans want to be able to say: "I've protected children from viewing porn on the internet!" Al Sharpton launched an Outrage campaign against obscenities in music. His focus is on rap music and the vulgarities that are rampant within the genre. But I think this could open up an environment that could severely compromise the first amendment rights. Not that anyone cares about a litlte thing like the Constitution anymore, though

However, when Livejournal and Six Apart decide that they can view flocked and PRIVATED entries? That's another thing altogether. Why bother with privating or f-locking entries at all?? It's much, much worse than a cop coming in and opening your locker or searching through your belongings. I've said stuff on LJ that I can't say anywhere else, or wouldn't have said anywhere else. I liked the idea of LJ because I felt safe saying the things I've said here. I now feel like it's Tom Riddle's diary, and this is a weapon that's being used to control me and gain my trust.

But the truth is...anything we say on the internet, even if ti's f-locked or privated entries, they can be hacked into and read by someone else wiht relative ease by anyone skilled enough. This makes it worse, because this is very McCarthyesque and has Witch Hunt all over it. I'm not saying LJ and Six Apart did a good thing here or are right to do what they did...but my point is, yes, LJ was, before this whole disaster, an awesome place because I could find people who were freaks like me, and therein not feeling so much like one. But really, even before this whole thing blew up, anybody could've read f-locked and privated entries.

I don't want to leave LJ. But I don't like it here right now. I have a GJ account. Am Spookykat there as well.

~SK

I have the beginnings of a cold, I think. My throat is killing me and I've been stuffed up all morning. Grrr.

But that is rather negated by the fact that I HAVE A JOB!!!!

It's only playing $100/month, so that's not much. But it's something. And could generate into lessons and weddings and funerals. I start on August 15th. I'll be employed as a pianist for a new church. I told my dad last night at dinner, and he had nothing to say but negative things. I told him about her plans to build a new chapel. His reaction? Why is that necessary? *rolls eyes* And then he was talking about the cost of gas and all this crap. I just don't understand why he couldn't say: "That's great!" and left it at that. In fact, the only positive thing he had to say the ENTIRE EVENING was raving about the chicken HE made over the weekend that was two days old. And see...he only acts this way towards me when my mom isn't there. I give up on trying to have an adult relationship with my dad. I somehow don't see how it could possibly happen.

I have a wedding to play in this weekend. YAY! Funds!

~SK

Between the post-TDH fog and what happened today, I am really, really down. For the first time in years. I wonder how the hell I stayed in this state CONSTANTLY. But today I'm absolutely devastated, and I think I need to wallow a bit. I have a wedding to play in next weekend, so at least there's that. But tonight I am having myself a pity-party. For now, anyway.

My 12-yr-old band student was about 30 minutes late today...and on top of that, told me that this would be her last week "because of school...and stuff..." which is total BS...because school doesn't even start for another few weeks. And she was taking lessons during the school year towards the end last year...so I dont' know why all the sudden it won't work.

I am furious. I can't do this anymore. This is the second time my primary source of income has up and quit. It would be fine if I had a few students. And theoretically, there are always other students out there, but honestly, nobody's called for lessons since my summer-only student...and that was several months ago.

I hated working retail, but I loved having at least SOME kind of money every couple of weeks. I've had my card at all the music stores for months now. I joined MTNA. I don't know what else to do.

And even though I'm happier doing this, I will only have this wedding, which I am getting paid $100 for next week. I have $30 from two lessons from my summer-only student...which, unless things change, I will have earned a total of $130 for the month of August. I am still taken care of financially, so thank God I don't have bills to be stressed about right now. I'm certainly not destitute and there is food in my fridge, so it could be a lot worse. But still...there has to be a better way.

I love being a piano teacher. Really love it. And I'm good at it. Damn good. My summer-only student can now read music, and has been able to do that pretty fluently just within the first month. But I'm going to be 30 in a few months. I can't keep depending on my parents.

And the other part of it is school is coming up at the end of August, and I'll be taking 18 hours altogether. Making good grades and even having a job on just the weekends seems like too much if I have to practice 5+ hours on top of that. The thing is, if this is how it is...do I have any business doing this? Just squeaking by on wedding gigs and a maybe a couple of students if I'm lucky? Honestly, I don't know at this point. I need something that will pay the bills. A regular gig would be awesome. But I don't have a tape or CD made yet. That's somethign I was planning on before the summer was over anyway. Maybe now it just needs to be sooner rather than later. I just need to figure out what to put on it.

I know lots of Carole King songs.
I can play "Desperado" by the Eagles by heart.
I am decent at "Bridge Over Troubled Water"
I know lots of beatles songs. I play "Yesterday" "Hey Jude" and "In My Life" really well.
I know lots of Elton John songs. I play "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" and "Candle in the Wind" pretty well.
I know lots of Disney songs. I LOVE playing "Cruella DeVille." That is fun as hell!
I am good at 40's big-band stuff. Basically anything from the Sleepless in Seatle soundtrack or Irving Berlin or Gershwin.
I have tons of musicbooks (surprise surprise!).
I am best at classical. Mozart, Bethoveen and Chopin especially. I love this Fantasy I'm working on by Mendelsohnn, too.
I am comfortable enough now with most common songs that are played in weddings.

So...what should my CD include?

~SK